“Am I Sick Enough?” The Comparison Trap in Eating Disorders
One of the biggest barriers people with eating disorders face is the lingering thought: Am I sick enough to deserve help? This feeling can create a cycle of comparison and self-doubt that keeps individuals from seeking or accepting the treatment they need and deserve. In this blog, we'll unpack why the "sick enough" mindset is so common and how recognising it is the first step toward reclaiming your right to recovery.
The "Sick Enough" Mindset: Where It Comes From
Eating disorders thrive on comparison. From body size to eating habits to the level of restriction or behaviours, people struggling with these illnesses often measure themselves against others with similar issues. This can lead to a belief that their symptoms are “not bad enough” to need or deserve help.
Society often reinforces this mindset through stereotypes about how an eating disorder “looks” - typically thinness or extreme weight loss. This can make it hard for people in larger bodies or those who don’t meet these stereotypes to feel validated in their struggle, even if they’re experiencing severe symptoms.
Comparing Yourself to Others with Eating Disorders
Comparison is a natural human tendency, but it’s especially strong in the eating disorder community. People may find themselves comparing their symptoms, behaviours, or physical appearance to others. Thoughts like “She’s thinner than me, so I must not be that sick” or “He exercises more than I do; maybe I’m just being dramatic” can intensify feelings of not being “sick enough.”
This comparison trap prevents people from fully acknowledging their pain and reaching out for support. But every eating disorder experience is unique, and there is no minimum threshold for suffering that qualifies someone for care.
Why Feeling “Not Sick Enough” Can Be Dangerous
Eating disorders are mental illnesses, and their severity is not defined by external factors or appearance. It’s possible to be very physically unwell without looking thin, and many individuals suffer from severe distress, social withdrawal, and a disrupted relationship with food, no matter their weight or body size.
What’s especially harmful about the “not sick enough” mindset is that it reinforces denial. People may feel they need to wait until their symptoms intensify before seeking help. This delays intervention, making recovery harder and risking serious health consequences.
Reclaiming the Right to Recovery
If you've ever felt like you’re “not sick enough” to deserve help, it’s important to remind yourself that your experience is valid, no matter what it looks like on the outside. Eating disorders don’t have a “look,” and every individual’s symptoms and experiences are deserving of compassion and care. Recovery is not a privilege to be earned by the degree of suffering; it’s a right everyone has.
Remember, no other mental health condition’s severity is based on external appearance. Just as with anxiety or depression, the distress and dysfunction of an eating disorder indicate a need for help, regardless of how you look.
Finding Help Without Comparison
If you find yourself falling into the “sick enough” mindset, try the following approaches:
Challenge Comparison: Remind yourself that eating disorders affect everyone differently. Reflect on your unique journey without measuring it against anyone else’s.
Focus on Distress and Functionality: Consider how your symptoms impact your daily life, mental well-being, and happiness. These indicators are far more important than any physical measure.
Acknowledge Your Suffering: Validate your own feelings, and remind yourself that recovery is not a reward for how much you’ve suffered. You deserve help because you’re struggling - period.
Reach Out for Support: Talking to a mental health professional or joining a support group can provide the validation you need to counteract feelings of unworthiness. Professionals understand that eating disorders are complex, and they’re there to help without judgment.
You Are Deserving of Help
Seeking help for an eating disorder can be daunting, especially when you feel like your struggles are not “enough” to warrant it. But every step you take toward recovery, no matter how small, is valuable. Recognising that the “sick enough” mindset is part of the disorder itself is crucial, and working to challenge it can lead you to a path where you give yourself the compassion and support you deserve.
Recovery is possible at any stage, and no one should wait for their symptoms to get worse to start healing. If this resonates with you, know that help is available, and you are worthy of a full and meaningful recovery.